Boston Electrolysis Memoirs & Exposé On Becoming An Electrologist ©


Presently there are 746 practicing Massachusetts Licensed & Registered Electrologists in the Commonwealth of Massachustts. Amongst those 746 practicing Massachusetts Licensed & Registered Electrologist approximately 14 of them have become Laser Parlor Operators. That alone is a statement of silence by your peers who know temporary laser hair removal is a scam at best and from my observations the Combination Electrologist Laser Parlor Operator skates on thin ice while most of them break every rule and regulation in the book. However lets get Boston Electrolysis Memoirs & Exposé  On Becoming An Electrologist.  

For along time now I have been working on Boston Electrolysis Memoirs© which more or less is the “Nip & Tuck” element about the scourge of the Electrolysis Profession known as the ‘’Combination Electrologist Laser Parlor Operators.” In my professional opinion these less skilled ‘’Combination Electrologists Laser Parlor Operators” have sold their professional souls to the highest bidder. The real names of actual practicing ‘’Combination Electrologists Laser Parlor Operators” have been removed so as not to incur frivolous legal ramifications from them. It is my professional opinion since laser hair removal has proven itself to be a complete failure and a scam at best certain "Combination Electrologists Laser Parlor Operators” who are less skilled are now backtracking to become full time electrologists again. Nonetheless some of these electrologists that pretend to be Kimberly Williams, R.E., Dean and their use my business name Boston Electrolysis because they have no pride in their own name and tarnished professional reputations that they soiled themselves.


One unknown electrologist in particular deliberately misspells my business Boston Electrolysis as “Boson Electrolysis” under Sponsored Ads.  She thinks she is so clever by deliberately lying to the consumer and using the misspelled Boson Electrolysis, Boson Electrolysis Expert instead of Boston Electrolysis to fool you the consumer. However we must take pity upon her because she has no honesty, self-respect and complete lack of professional skills because she to lie, cheat and steal my professional reputation. For she knows the Kimberly Williams, R.E., Dean of Boston Electrolysis stands honesty; dignity and the best quality electrolysis treatments with my written guarantee of excellence of which is something cannot do for herself.  So consumers beware of sites that say Boson Electrolysis and Boson Electrolysis Experts instead of Boston Electrolysis.

Kimberly Williams, R.E., Dean
Boston Electrolysis Private Practice
Boston Computerized Electrology
7330 East Earll Drive Suite J
Scottsdale, Arizona 85215

America’s Dirtiest Profession

Boston Electrolysis Memoirs & Exposé On Becoming An Electrologist ©

The Combination Electrologists Laser Parlor Operators

School Days Good Old Golden Rule Days

Looking back in time I remember after having just established my practice in Davis Square, West Somerville, Massachusetts. In a relatively short amount of time I employed two full and one part time electrologist. Their names are not important except for the one I fired for unprofessional conduct however there is no need to mention her in this episode.

Going through mail that morning I received an invitation to a small electrolysis seminar at the Eleanor's  Institute of Electrology & Neurosis of Neurosis also known as Miss Eleanor's. Having briefly attended Miss Eleanors Institute of insanity for a short while I opted and transferred to the best school, Miss Kelly’s School Of Electrology Quincy, Massachusetts. Well time flies and I recall after six years of private practice Miss Eleanor invited me to attend an electrolysis seminar nonetheless one can never forget the unpleasantness about this school that I have done my best to forget.

That all started when I was a student there and when traveling back in time to Eleanor Roberts  Institute of Electrology & Neurosis it appeared that it was her goal to make everyone believe that she alone was the patron saint and savior of electrolysis. Eleanor  Institute of Electrology & Neurosis in 1976 one does not like to recall the prejudice, bigotry and discrimination at that school that suffocated your free will and the right to be yourself. In addition Eleanor's  Institute of  Electrology & Neurosis was a fortified bastion and an armed encampment of “Boston Snobbery” at its worst or should I say its best? With their starched white uniforms and sharply creased narrow personalities these desperate Ivy League Wannabes had their noses so high up in the air they all carried umbrellas 24/7 out of fear they would drown if it drizzled.

At that time Eleanor was affectionately know as the “Iron Mistress” for she considered herself to be the sovereign ruler of Electrology and her school was the “Fuhrer Bunker” of etiquette, protocol and hype.  Furthermore to do well at this school you had to look alike, think alike and act exactly like Miss Eleanor demanded or else. In essence this was a great school for snitches, bootlickers, brownnosers, butt kissers and assorted sycophants that bathed in the strict dictum of sublime mediocrity.

Sad to say it turned out I was an or else student and I would gladly transfer to Miss Kelly’s School Of Electrology of which Graduated with honors in 1979. After six years of private practice it was now 1986 and I had worked hard to have the best up to date practice in Bean Town in addition to a staff plus there was my upcoming fourth year of lecturing at Harvard Medical School. Now I would be entering the “Iron Mistresses” castle with her dungeons, dragons and ghouls only this time there was going to be a big surprise for I was going to be announced as a distributor for the R.A. Fischer Company. Oh, there was facet to Eleanor's  Institute of Electrology & Neurosis from they day you started there you where brainwashed to purchase her own manufactured out of date epilator made by her manufactured by her out of date company in Bellingham, Massachusetts called Proteus. They named the epilator Proteus after an early Greek sea god and the company logo was a “Neptune’s Trident” however to me it appeared and looked more like “Old Nicks Electrified Pitchfork” because the reputation of this epilator was hotter than a stolen beamer.  When I say it was hot it should have been banned everywhere however the state Florida who at that time electrocuted their criminals thought it would be a good replacement for “Old Sparky” their old worn out electric chair.

Well I met Jerry from R. A. Fischer Company and we worked out the arrangements that I would be announced as a distributor for their company right at Eleanor’s podium. I looked at this as an opportunity to learn more and get the insiders lane when it came to State of The Art Computerized Electrolysis. Fact to this day I use R.A. Fischer Computerized Epilators because they’re the best and 100% American made. Well we all went through the old rigmarole where every one got up and said there spiel and how wonderful their products where. However I was just another electrologist in the crowd that day when Jerry from R.A.Fischer Company announced me as their distributor. There was a slight applause and there stood my good friend and arch-nemesis Miss Eleanor's whose podium I stood at was looking at me but she was not clapping her hands.

There she stood in shock and disbelief as I rose to the occasion and stood on her podium and said thank you Jerry. Gazing out upon the crowd you could see Miss Eleanor’s eyes where locked upon mine and in the interim before I spoke one word she knew the other shoe was about to drop as I made my speech how electrologists need to modernize with the best computerized electrolysis equipment. To Eleanor and her lackeys it appeared to them that I was here to collect some personal IOU’S but they where shocked when I kept it strictly professional which in my opinion was the best way to slap them in the face for past offenses.

Well I finished my short speech and mentioned that I am the only distributor in Massachusetts who sells the R.A.Fischer CB-2 Compu-Blend programmable computerized epilator. Having an R.A. Fischer distributorship was real coup and offering free training on the worlds first computerized epilator would have electrologists knocking on my door and on this day Jerry the representative from the R.A. Fischer of Glendale, California who thought he was about was to give away a free machine and he was hyped because this was good publicity for the R.A. Fischer Company.

Well back to the story allot of students where looking forward to this day because this was a raffle and a drawing for a free epilator of your choice from any manufacturer present. This raffle for a single mom or poor working student meant allot for these student electrologists who now had one chance in forty-two to win a free epilator of their choice. Those are pretty good odds for a free electrolysis epilator of your choice which was the most expensive item an electrologist had to purchase. No visitors, practicing electrologists only a student could have a free raffle ticket and as time went by more students showed up for the gayla event. On the other hand the student electrologist to qualify for the raffle had to be there from the beginning to the end of the day and have there ears tortured by boring lectures about electrolysis equipment by manufacturers, that why I kept my presentation to ten minutes.

Well after listening to every ones speech it was almost that time for the raffle and I learned that the person who would actually draw the raffle ticket was our beloved Mr. Hogan a former Boston policeman turned electrologist. What could be more honest than a retired cop? Mr. Hogan was a Clinic Instructor and he was not a bad guy in fact he was kind of a nice guy so how could anyone hold anything against him? I remember my brief time at this school and Mr. Hogan had become an inanimate piece of furniture while every afternoon about 3’ O’clock during clinic he actually fell asleep snoozing and snoring in the corner while sitting up on his stool. What was really cute about Mr. Hogan was when he started snoring nonetheless the deeper his sleep the more he sounded like Paul Bunyans chain saw cutting down redwoods. Nonetheless one has be in awe when he snored however with Mr. Hogan a former Boston’s Best ex-policeman managing the security drawing is certainly to be above reproach.

Well I thought as I socialized here and there and joined with Jerry who said, “This seems like a pretty big whooptidoo?” Well it appears that way Jerry, “However I would not turn my back unless there is a wall behind me and I would be very careful in what I say.” Jerry had a puzzled look upon his face after I said that he was really excited when he said, “I do not have one doubt that the winning student will pick our brand new model the R.A. Fischer CB-2 Programmable Epilator.”  Jerry I said, “Don’t you realize that in your enemy territory and the winner has already been picked.” Jerry turned around and looked at me and said, “I find that hard to believe.” Jerry I said, “Is this your first trip to Boston?” Jerry your in Boston now and without one doubt Miss Eleanor gets her way because this is her turf, her school and don’t worry I promise you will not say, “I told you so”.

Its not that I wanted to rain of Jerry’s parade that cloudy day because the R.A. Fischer Company saw this as a rare opportunity and good publicity for R.A. Fisher to get their computerized epilator on the market. Needless to say most Californians or should I say Jerry where not aware that Miss Eleanor was a down and dirty mean old card shark who dealt from the bottom of the deck in addition to having an extra ace or two up her sleeves. Well it certainly was getting chatty and every ones claws where sharpened or should I say painted? More so there where little trivial innuendos with a psychological slam here and there with the occasional stiletto in some ones back that made this such typical electrologists get together.

Finally, her imperial majesty and grand dame dowager empress of the electrolysis paraphernalia and pooh-bah society arrived and made her grand entrance. As she approached me and I her you could see that she was not a happy camper this day and at the last possible moment walking towards moment she turned away. However I can never forgot the last time we talked but that is not to be in the first issue of “Boston Electrolysis Memoirs©”. Some would say she snubbed me however I say that was her last opportunity for her to bury the "Ole Hatchet "in my back. Nonetheless I am glad my back was not turned at that moment.

Well, well, well the witching hour had arrived and the air was electrified with student and licensed electrologists. Nonetheless I still had not figured how she was going to rig the drawing and get away with it to? It’s really depressing to be in atmosphere of oppression that was cleverly veiled so the average schnook or schmuck has no idea that the fix was in. Jerry was really excited and kept on telling me how the winner will choose the best equipment, the R.A. Fischer CB-2 Programmable epilator.

Finally the magic moment had arrived and it was time as Mr. Zak who was Miss Eleanor’s right hand man. Somewhere a gong went off and in the center spotlight stood Mr. Zak who introduced Mr. Hogan and vice versa they starting patting each on the back. Mr. Zak mentioned that this was all above board because Mr. Hogan besides being an electrologist was also retired a Boston policeman. Every one was excited about this $2,000.00 give away and the epilator of your choice was the Proteous Company, The Instantron Company and the best for last the R.A. Fischer Company.

Well they brought out the old gold fish bowl and it was stuffed with little folded origami type squares that looked neatly folded. Mr. Zak raised it up and Mr. Hogan reached in and swirled the paper squares with his hand and my eyes where locked on Mr. Hogan’s right hand. Some times it’s an advantage being tall and looking at Mr. Hogan’s hand you could see under his pinky-ring was tightly curled paper origami square when his hand went deep in the bowl he already had it. Finally he pulls out one little piece of paper and holds it up in the air for every one to see and from there he handed it off to Mr. Zak who again displayed it like it was an honest drawing.

As Sherlock Holmes would say, “Watson, the games afoot and the fix was in and who be would the lucky winner of a brand new epilator with no strings attached?” Mr. Zak looked at Miss Eleanor who gave her nod and as he opened the paper, moving his pursed dry lips he read for a moment and he raised his voice and said, “The winner is Suzy Creamcheese.” Than all of sudden there was silence and  after the second announcement “The winner is Suzy Creamcheese.”  Finally after three minutes one could hear a "Minnie Mouse" squeaky voice in the back of the crowd and you could barely hear her muffled voice crying out, “ I won, I won, I won, I really won.”  She was jumping and down like a third grade girl who just got a candy bar yelling " I won, I won, I won, I really won". Now the magic moment every one waited for had arrived and as Miss Eleanor went to congratulate her niece I stepped up to the podium and before she could speak one syllable and in a raised voice I said, “Congratulations Miss Eleanor your niece Suzy Creamcheese is the winner.” So you will know that’s what I wanted to say but I did not because it’s not good business to do so in that manner however some people knew or suspected and it was common knowldege before the seminar closed that day. Another fact Suzy Creamcheese had only been a part-time student for two weeks instead of the 30 day required to be eligible for the raffle, but who read the rules and regulation when there not posted?

To of all of us it’s really disgusting to see something of this nature and even after that Jerry was still upbeat and said, “Well she's going to pick the best machine” and I turned around to Jerry and said, “Its not over yet.” Jerry got ready and pulled out  and held up the brand new R.A. Fischer CB-2 Programmable Epilator like it was pizza pie. For the final ceremony they brought out a microphone and Mr. Zak asked, ‘Well Suzy Creamcheese you have won the raffle, what  is your choice of equipment?’’ Suzy Creamcheese replied, "Let there be no doubt I want the Proteus 2000 the best made epilator on the market." Jerry’s jaw dropped to the floor and he looked at me in utter disbelief and shock and said, “She picked the worst possible machine.” I replied, “Jerry blood is thicker than water.” Jerry was so angry he could spit and he said is this how they do business in Boston?  I replied its just another day in the neighborhood. Nevertheless it was my time to tell all the electrolysis students the good news that Suzy Creamcheese was one of Miss Eleanor's nieces who enrolled part-time two weeks ago nonetheless the fix was in from the get go.

From there Jerry was the first one to leave and as we exited Miss Eleanor was really ticked off when I said, “Have a beautiful day Miss Eleanor”.  From here I stood out side the door and as every one of those disgruntled electrolysis students left I handed them my business card. However Suzy Creamcheese came out and she did not have her machine in hand so I figured it was all a hoax including a staged machine.

The moral of the story is beware of school owners bearing gifts especially Eleanor F. Roberts  Institute of Electrology & Neurosis who would later learn that day backfired on her because the students where quite angry when they found out the fix was in on that hot summer day. Most of these women thought they had a fair chance of winning however for Mrs. Eleanor Roberts it was business as usual. During the next six months I sold a fair amount of computerized epilators to each student I met at the seminar  thatday.

Suzy Creamcheese finished school and never had much success because of Proteus and the Eleanor F. Roberts  Institute of Electrology & Neurosis went out of business. In the nineties Suzy Creamcheese became a Combination Electrologist Laser Parlor Operator. Now that laser hair removal is on the skids she is again advertising electrology as the only safe method of permanent hair removal. However the moral of the story is Suzy Creamcheese has none and when you start of on the wrong foot your bound to step on other people’s toes (ouch).

Well Suzy Creamcheese I know you have read this and I hope you have enjoyed the first of many Boston Electrolysis Memoirs©. However are you still using your 30 year old Proteus 2000 antique epilator?

I hope Suzy Creamcheese has read this however she and others liker herself are not aware of how much damage they have done and she is responsible for how she robbed and cheated her professional peers of having a fair chance of owing an epilator of their choice. She got what she wanted at the expense and honesty of others in spite of this her weakest of all points is her jealous envy because when you type Boston Electrolysis and you will see SuzyCreamcheese website and others pretending to be Boson Electrolysis instead of Boston Electrolysis. However those who suffer the most are the patients she has deceived by telling them laser hair removal is permanent. Nonetheless we must feel sorry for her because no matter what she does or says there is only Boston Electrolysis also known as and its owned be myself. For the record Boston Electrolysis does not practice or believe in temporary quack laser hair removal in any form or manner. So if you end up on website that that claims they are Boston Electrolysis and they have temporary laser hair removal your definitely at the wrong place if you want a quality electrolysis treatment call 480-607-8121 in Arizona.

Thank you for your time and attention,

Kimberly Williams, R.E., Dean